Magic words

It is only now, my dear boy, Scottish fold folded ears. And before long, ears were normal, and the Scottish themselves were not there. On a large English sailing lived usual gray cat ears on top, which is complete in any UK port. And he was on the ship old boatswain, who in her soul is not looked for. I found it a real sea dog-legged, in a normal cat with dark holds, but only with the advent of cat walking around the deck, climbed to the upper yard, and her hair was gray wool a blue sky, the purple sea sunset. And when there comes the calm, and the ship was in the middle of the ocean, cat sharpening claws on the wooden leg of the Old Boatswain, and at this time the old boatswain did not say his usual words.

So they scoured the seas, oceans, until one day the boat is not anchored in the Scottish city of Edinburgh. Barely hearing, somewhere far away in the Blue Mountains has played bagpipes, our cat jumped from the ship - and disappeared. Bagpipes played incessantly day, two, three, Cat did not return, the ship sailed long overdue, but the old boatswain refused to whistle his tune. Finally bagpipes stopped, soon there was the Cat. She wanted to sneak aboard the ramp, but the ship was not, and stood alone on the dock only Old Boatswain. What he said to the cat, no one has heard, but since then all Scottish fold, which you will ever see, and those whom you never see, round innocent eyes and folded, as if faded, ears. And do not depart from the owner on a step. And if suddenly you notice that your pet's ears have enough close to head, it's easy to fix. When all of the house dies down, take a real Scottish bagpipes, my boy, and played it incessantly day and another. And on the third you know the neighbors are the magic words once spoken by the old boatswain.
Irina Vinogradova



One Day Barsik
(Funny story)

In good spirits, after having gorged itself cream, cat Barsik went for a walk on the roof terrace of the ninth floor. Moving steadily, at the end of the path Barsik rested his head in whitewashing walls. Then he decided to turn around, but do not stay on the narrow plank and slowly but surely fall down. An outside observer, it was obvious that the free fall not in the plans of a cat, for he instinctively swinging his legs a couple of times (which it did not help), rolled his eyes and began to scream hysterically, is rapidly picking up speed. A few floors below the balcony smoking a uncle Fyodor who happened across her long curly hair is not the trajectory of a cat basking in the sun and occasionally spitting down on painters, who are on duty were suspended in a cradle at the third floor and allegorically MOTHER Uncle Fyodor. Attracted by the unusual sound, Uncle Fyodor looked up. Top, eclipsing the sun himself, approaching something dark. After a moment he realized that this was something that was not only dark, but soft. Barsik put his head in his savior all the available-feet and, still yelling for joy claws. Uncle Fyodor cat did not share the joy. Watching movies about aliens, he had fallen from the top ranked object to the category of unidentified flying and fear roared louder than Barsik. His desperate cries caught the attention of hanging out on a bench in the courtyard of old women. "Sram-what!" - Entered into one of them, then spat and shook her walking stick off to the side buildings. A few minutes later, Uncle Fyodor tore the same on behalf of the scratchy Barsik and unwind, the stranger threw back to where he was, that is up.

On the floor above, there lived happily ever after, but drank away good plumber Zabuldygin brutally muchivshiysya the morning syndrome chronic hangover. Sitting in the kitchen and looking at the clock, in a window fitter thought of life. At 10.01., Recalling his behavior and the roar of the destroyed fighter, flying down the neighbor's cat. At 10.03. neighbor's cat came back, stood for a moment in the highest point of the trajectory, spreading her legs apart and turned on its axis, recalling locksmith Ka-50 "Black Shark", and, unable to cope with any laws of physics, even more so with the laws aerodynamics, continued to fall. Zabuldygin determined to stop drinking.

Miserable Barsik flew down, bypassing floor by floor, and without incident would get to the ground if he had at the third floor did not fall for painters. The painters did not do anything wrong. They painted the house by attaching the cautionary label to the bottom of his cage, so that passerby, turning a corner, you first get a few drops of green, or one or two of white paint is more expensive, and only then, raising his head, he read: "Caution: Painting!" Barsik, almost spraying paint, fish went into a bucket (all judges - 9 points). Making sure that the liquid in the bucket while white but not cream, gradually started to get the cat out. Painters have heard something they hooted in the paint. "He threw stones at us," - said the more experienced painter and peered into the bucket. Unusual stone, resembling a cat's head, forms surfaced and suddenly opened his eyes. The unexpectedness of the more experienced painter dropped a personalized brush and saying, "Come out! Come out!" pushed the bucket with his foot. Bucket, turning in the air twice (Barsik get out of it already in the first turn), had almost fit a passing citizen, who wishes not to reveal his name, and become a white cat, barely touching the ground, sprinted to escape. Scare sparrows and pigeons, he crossed a bed and began to climb smartly on the first available birch and climbing on it as long as it is not over.

And in the shade under the birch was slogging match, played chess. Retired Timokhin named GM grabbed the game for life, and a bottle of vodka from a pensioner Mironov. Got wind of such a large prize pool, immediately hang around a janitor, and seeing that the fight unnecessarily long, continually advised that Timokhin, the queen sacrifice Mironov. The very same game was unusually dull, and fall with birch Barsik's thirty-eighth move it quite revived. Pobuksovav little on the board and rasshvyryav figures cat grabbed the queen of black teeth and ran in the direction of the players. First come round janitor, he grabbed a stool and with a terrible cry, "Give me the queen, the bastard!" launched her vosled Barsik skedaddle. Statistics show that cats are very easy to dodge the stools. The committee said that the probability of being a stool at twenty paces a running cat, or a cat, is practically zero. In general, the average cat can easily go from the chair, and another thing - intelligent Skripkin. Hard to say what he thought at that moment Skripkin but cry, "Give me the queen, the bastard!" and kick back on a stool he obviously took it personally. Shivering all over, waving at the same ballet in his hands and dropped her

Barsik thinking a good time, quietly slipped into a bag of groceries. Intellectual Skripkin bullet raced up the stairs (though always use the elevator), and ran up to the ninth floor (though he lived on the fourth). Janitor, feeling that somehow all bad happened, picked her bag and decided to take it Skripkin, thereby blotted out before him guilty. Barsik, feeling like he was lifted and carried, played dead, believing that a horse or a boat it can be, and forgive, but the queen is certainly not forgive. Janitor up to the fourth floor and rang at the door, at which point the cat pretended before the dead and not move for greater likelihood depictions of agony. Bag in hand janitor ominously stirred, leading to the indescribable horror. Throwing wiggling bag by the door, honorary worker broom hit the run down the stairs and on the jamb at the finish. Pull a little more for decency, Barsik listened: it was quiet, it's time to start the meal. Spitting out the queen, with an understanding of professional cat took up sausage.

Twenty minutes later intellectual Skripkin, breathless for garbage disposal on the ninth floor, convinced that there is no pursuit, and went down to his house. A few steps from the door lay his bag, smeared in white paint. Already in the apartment made Skripkin audit purchased products. They were purchased: a pound of sausage, a bag of sour cream and two lemons, and the remaining from the bag of sour cream, two lemons (one of them bitten) and the figure for the game of chess. Beside himself with rage at the bullies, not only spoiled food, but also abused the bag Skripkin went to the balcony and looked out into the yard. In the yard playing chess, black - retired Timokhin and Mironov, white - the janitor, who had up to this little match practice and was entangled in the figures. Timokhin moved replaces the missing queen upturned boat, and Mironov said: "You check." "Do you mate!" - Screamed and ran Skripkin intelligent black and white queen from behind cover. The ill-fated queen flopped at the center of the board and scattered the rest f! IGUR within three meters.

Terrible cry janitor: "I'll kill you!" Barsik found on the roof, where he climbed poobsohnut. Dry was boring, feet stuck to the warm tar, and the cat rubbed the right side of the antenna, which is all day yesterday installing one of the tenants. Antenna safely dropped. In search of something, about what you can wipe, mountain-paratrooper, this time on the stairs, came down and went outside. That's it hanging on the clothesline - an old blanket.

Barsik rug hung on and pulled him to the ground. This is an outrage saw plaid hostess who lives on the eighth floor of an old woman, uncommunicative, vicious, yet not without a certain charm, gave her senile marasmus. "Eva, what udumala", - said the old woman, and was scare the cat shouting "Shoo!" and "Sheesh!", but is it could scare Barsik! Instead, he rolled onto his back and began to crawl on the rug. Old woman began to whistle, but instead she came whistling strange hissing, then it's a hiss, which lead neighbors to believe that survived from the mind of an old woman somewhere had got a snake. Not having succeeded in the whistle, the owner of plaid, presented her a wedding, took a broom and swung so far as the sciatica, run it from the eighth floor. Mop, whistles past the painters, stuck in the ground a few steps from Barsik, he looked up, then suddenly jumped up and made it in time: the second mop hollow knocked on the rug. "Oh, you parasite, Oh, you wretch," - the old woman wailed, but! wretched parasite from experience knowing that Grandma was available only two mops, broke even more obscene pose. About the number of mops Barsik was absolutely right, but he did not realize about the arsenal of boots. Slyly smiling in anticipation of revenge, grandmother Mash hands do about rotational motion, and a volley gave three consecutive boots. All three felt boot hit the target, one of them even Barsik. Another, ricocheted off the head of an experienced painter, taken aback by his student, but the third flat boots hit the back of the janitor, who nadegustirovavshis prize moonshine tired of intellectual games and rested in a nearby sandbox. Both painter swore dirty words, and caretaker woke up and dragged the song. Barsik also bolted. Grandmother on the occasion of such a successful throw gave a victory cry, imitating Tarzan.

Peter tied for ninth-bike bulldog named Napoleon, and he had gone into the store for bread. Napoleon was told to stay put, but the instinct which aroused in him rapidly moving cat in space, was too strong. And they were running three: Barsik, Napoleon and bike last ran reluctantly, as a loud ringing. Ivan Sidorov and his little daughter went to buy something nice for her birthday, happy, and they returned home. My daughter was clutching in his hand a Japanese toy "tamagochchi", and Ivan was carrying on his outstretched hands huge cake. Then they crossed the street cat. The girl cried dad: "Look, the cat", and then "Beware of the dog!" To which Mr. Smith placidly replied: "Yes, I see," and then caught the leash of Napoleon, but has not fallen yet, but zabalansiroval cake, bouncing on one leg, and would resist, if not arrived in time bike. Like an enemy bunker covered Ivan just bought a cake. Some passers-by seemed comical situation and they laughed, but did so in vain, as Ivan was a great man. Rising, he did not go into details, and started handing out slaps left and right. Ten minutes later he finished handing out slaps and switched to kicks. Most got Steklyashkin who openly resented and all wanted to know by what right he kicked and classmates Pete, he ran to the noise and asked the Mr. Smith during a brief respite, if he did not see his bike and a dog.
Late afternoon, tired from the day's hustle and bustle, the cat scratched his paw Barsik own apartment door number 35 on the ninth floor. Let him home, and the girl Lena, which he treated with respect, because it usually begged for his parents sour, just threw up his hands: "He's at this time all white". Resigned to the fact that the punishment he will wash Barsik sadly bowed his head. After two hours, and not washed, the cat was sitting on the lap of a lady, who stroked him and saying, "Well, where's that been? I was worried, I thought you broke." How nice and cozy at home, quietly Barsik purring with pleasure and gratitude for what he petted, and thought: "Why are some people so good and some evil?"